Wednesday, February 15, 2006
STARES 6:47 PM*
A Non-believer.
as usual. hate valentines. having cold war with mommy. totally not good. how am ii suppose to tell her ii lost the ezlink card? haiix~
is it possible for one to sleep 3/4 of the day? arh, whatever.
ii have to force the word in to my head. ii am usually a believer. what happened?
supposed to start mugging. but ii just cannot concentrate. it is exploding my freaking head. doubt doubt doubt. people around sucks. not going to mention names.
and guess what, at times like this, who is the one entertaining me with lames? surprise surprise. dear old cussie.
okae okae, so ii am not as unfortunate. but ii am overpower by boredom. help~
haiix~ blueberries fill my head. ii feel so yucky. who on earth wants to be the blueberry picker? ii am having many doubts. so in situations like this, who is the one at losing ends?
ii've changed so much. now when ii look into the mirror, its like ii dont even know myself. ii see nothing. its so empty in here.
no one talks to me like before. perhaps ii was wrong. people didnt lose me. ii lost them all.
bullshit to the 'time will tell'. yes yes yes, time will tell how terrible ii feel. ii have to overcome this strong sense of getting hurt and put up a strong front every day. ii am so so tired. and who will expect to see that behind this strong front, is a weak girl who doesnt even know herself.
one big fall has lead me to this devastating state. ii used to trust you. ii used to confide in you. but now, its like ii am totally out of your circle. you dont need me anymore. ii've been replaced.
at my saddest moments, ii was alone. who the hell cared if ii was afraid? lies. excuses. its all enough.
ii've learnt to trust no one. to be selfish. to live alone.
as usual. hate valentines. having cold war with mommy. totally not good. how am ii suppose to tell her ii lost the ezlink card? haiix~
is it possible for one to sleep 3/4 of the day? arh, whatever.
ii have to force the word in to my head. ii am usually a believer. what happened?
supposed to start mugging. but ii just cannot concentrate. it is exploding my freaking head. doubt doubt doubt. people around sucks. not going to mention names.
and guess what, at times like this, who is the one entertaining me with lames? surprise surprise. dear old cussie.
okae okae, so ii am not as unfortunate. but ii am overpower by boredom. help~
haiix~ blueberries fill my head. ii feel so yucky. who on earth wants to be the blueberry picker? ii am having many doubts. so in situations like this, who is the one at losing ends?
ii've changed so much. now when ii look into the mirror, its like ii dont even know myself. ii see nothing. its so empty in here.
no one talks to me like before. perhaps ii was wrong. people didnt lose me. ii lost them all.
bullshit to the 'time will tell'. yes yes yes, time will tell how terrible ii feel. ii have to overcome this strong sense of getting hurt and put up a strong front every day. ii am so so tired. and who will expect to see that behind this strong front, is a weak girl who doesnt even know herself.
one big fall has lead me to this devastating state. ii used to trust you. ii used to confide in you. but now, its like ii am totally out of your circle. you dont need me anymore. ii've been replaced.
at my saddest moments, ii was alone. who the hell cared if ii was afraid? lies. excuses. its all enough.
ii've learnt to trust no one. to be selfish. to live alone.
STARES 6:47 PM*