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Sunday, February 26, 2006
Honesty.

loads of thinking going on in my brain. supposingly one day it might just get overworked and ii might go crazy. wahahahaha. passed him a letter and the ring. got back an answer. thanks for the chance. appreciated. SMILES

like a breeze. short two months is over. filled with memories. good or bad. rough road ahead. obstacles to cross. it is true that people only learn their lesson after the lose. ii want to start afresh. love him like ii've never been hurt. but is it possible? for me. confidence. never changed for anyone in my whole entire life. not sure if this is going to work. but like ii read in my favie girl's bloggie. "For you, I will" (: guess its worth it. you said try my best. but what if the best aint good enough. worries. loads of 'what if ...'going on in my mind. SIGHS.

seriously, ii know nuts about changing and stuff. and ii get stucked in between situations like ii did just now. does changing means not listening to the heart? or am ii just too bothered about changing? ii dont know. initiative? ii really dont know about this. as in people close to me all know that ii never take hints. so how about initative? culeless.

ii am really afraid. somethings are just too impt for me to lose. afraid that history might repeat itself. too afraid of everything. maybe ii am just paranoid. (: but what if things aint gonna be the same? SIGHS. thinking too far eh. totally hate being alone. scares me.

am ii going to receive morning msges like ii used to? am ii going to talk to you at night till you are tired? am ii going to be the one you think of everyday? ii keep thinking. more and more qns. ii am so scared. just so scared. still it lies with the word 'confidence'. guess ii just dont have enough of it.

miss you alot. since a week or so before, iive not met you or talked to you properly. pains the heart to see you so stressed up and yet, there is nothing ii can do about it. SIGHS. ii really wish for things to be back. like the 1st times. memories of you fill my air. everything ii do, its related. just somehow cannot live without.

ii want to grow up. ii want to show you ii can. ii want to prove. no more spoilt brat. ii am serious.

will ii be accepted just like ii was? promises? never broken?

still love you like ii used to...

STARES 2:26 AM