Tuesday, November 22, 2005
STARES 1:49 PM*
Dumb Boy Memories...
today is just another bad day. woke up with a bad flu and sore throat. but still, ii forced myself to school. ii wanted to make myself look abit fresher so ii wore a pink striped pole tee. however, you wore a striped polo tee too. gosh. so paii sehx can. to make things worse, sandii just could not stop laughing. stupid stupid stupid. just plain dumb. =X
skipped ma japanese tutorial and came home due to da flu. it was getting real bad. on da way back, me and george didn't talk much. somehow just didn't feel like talking. ii thought alot. thought about your shirt. it was da shirt you wore when ii went your house on da first day we were together. haiix. memories again. ii thought about what happened to us and all. then you called. ii was rather shocked. but happy too. you asked for Jun Yong's number. ii told you ii didn't have then we hung. expected. didn't talk much.
da 34 journey home today seemed exceptionally long. ii kept repeating da song "first love". memories again. suddenly ii felt that ii really do miss you alot. really alot.
da first time ii went to your house was da first day we were together. ii accompanied you home to change. ii sat on your bed while waiting. you got suck to your computer. ii could stand it no longer and thus fell asleep. or half asleep ii guess. ii felt your presence. you came in to help me cover blanket. on da air-con for me and close da curtains. ii didn't want to move an inch. then you went out again. this time for good. ii got sick of pretending ii guess, cause ii really fell asleep. sound asleep. suddenly, someone cuddled me from behind. ii woke up. but still, ii never want to move. ii was happiie. suppose you knew that ii woke up. you told me how pissed you were at him when he bullied me. you told me how much you wanted to do something about it. and you told me you'll never let anyone bully me again. nobody knows how happy ii felt. da sense of security was just not able to be described.
ii enjoyed da times ii accompanied you to training and matches. you were just so engrossed. though during those times we didn't talk much either. but somehow, ii still felt your presence. ii just wanted to be there for you when you needed me. life was simple then. we were happiie.
ma birthday chalet would be so different without you. you were there for me. helped me with stuff. ii saw you smiling. you were happiie. ii was happiie. that smile belonged to me. it was ma best birthday gift ever. to see you happiie. (:
da short 4 months we had was filled with memories. erasing da times we quarreled, it was sweet. times you indirectly put me as nick. times you BBQed ma birthday chicken wing. times you peeled ma prawns. times you packet breakfast to ma house. times ii was included in your friendster profile. times you call me after da vampire show to explain to me what happened before going to bed. times you stayed over. times ii had smackings. times you told me da popiah theory. times and times we spent together.
guess, ii just wasn't contented with you. ii kept complaining that you never cared. but now ii know you did. you seriously did. sometimes when ii told you things, you just didn't seem to care. just seem cannot be bothered. but now ii understand that you listened to every word ii spoke. it's just that you didn't react. you didn't find a need to give big reactions. you are just that special.
other times, ii complained that you were never ther for me. but thinking back, you were. you helped me with ma projects and stuff. da PRSP project is another big memory. ii mean like small little stuff you did ii did not take into consideration. and that is one big regret.
you just seemed so honest, so innocent, so pure, so you. you were never da one that treats me da best but still ii loved you for who you are. you were just so simple. you were never sweet. you didn't know sweet talk yet you tired. honestly, you did badly for sweet talking, but sleeping fairy was sweet. you don't praise. you were vulgar yet ii knew you were pure. recent events have set me thinking. now ii know. it's not you that ii love, it's your honesty, your innocence, your purity and da sense of security you give me.
suppose you just want to be alone for da time being. judging from your nick, ii can see that you are so into warcraft now. even though you no longer tell me about your games, ii still want you to jia you. still wish for da best in you. even though you no longer tell me about your problems, ii will still be there if you need me. and even though you don't seem to care, at least ii know you cared and at least ii know ii care for you.
if only time could just stop da moment we were da happiest, ii would treasure you double.
if only ii was strong, ii could probably let you go.
if only ii didn't love you, ii would never have felt love.
if only...
if only...
if only...
if only ma christmas wish could come true, ii'll be da happiiest girl alive.
dumb boy, ii believe.. do you?
today is just another bad day. woke up with a bad flu and sore throat. but still, ii forced myself to school. ii wanted to make myself look abit fresher so ii wore a pink striped pole tee. however, you wore a striped polo tee too. gosh. so paii sehx can. to make things worse, sandii just could not stop laughing. stupid stupid stupid. just plain dumb. =X
skipped ma japanese tutorial and came home due to da flu. it was getting real bad. on da way back, me and george didn't talk much. somehow just didn't feel like talking. ii thought alot. thought about your shirt. it was da shirt you wore when ii went your house on da first day we were together. haiix. memories again. ii thought about what happened to us and all. then you called. ii was rather shocked. but happy too. you asked for Jun Yong's number. ii told you ii didn't have then we hung. expected. didn't talk much.
da 34 journey home today seemed exceptionally long. ii kept repeating da song "first love". memories again. suddenly ii felt that ii really do miss you alot. really alot.
da first time ii went to your house was da first day we were together. ii accompanied you home to change. ii sat on your bed while waiting. you got suck to your computer. ii could stand it no longer and thus fell asleep. or half asleep ii guess. ii felt your presence. you came in to help me cover blanket. on da air-con for me and close da curtains. ii didn't want to move an inch. then you went out again. this time for good. ii got sick of pretending ii guess, cause ii really fell asleep. sound asleep. suddenly, someone cuddled me from behind. ii woke up. but still, ii never want to move. ii was happiie. suppose you knew that ii woke up. you told me how pissed you were at him when he bullied me. you told me how much you wanted to do something about it. and you told me you'll never let anyone bully me again. nobody knows how happy ii felt. da sense of security was just not able to be described.
ii enjoyed da times ii accompanied you to training and matches. you were just so engrossed. though during those times we didn't talk much either. but somehow, ii still felt your presence. ii just wanted to be there for you when you needed me. life was simple then. we were happiie.
ma birthday chalet would be so different without you. you were there for me. helped me with stuff. ii saw you smiling. you were happiie. ii was happiie. that smile belonged to me. it was ma best birthday gift ever. to see you happiie. (:
da short 4 months we had was filled with memories. erasing da times we quarreled, it was sweet. times you indirectly put me as nick. times you BBQed ma birthday chicken wing. times you peeled ma prawns. times you packet breakfast to ma house. times ii was included in your friendster profile. times you call me after da vampire show to explain to me what happened before going to bed. times you stayed over. times ii had smackings. times you told me da popiah theory. times and times we spent together.
guess, ii just wasn't contented with you. ii kept complaining that you never cared. but now ii know you did. you seriously did. sometimes when ii told you things, you just didn't seem to care. just seem cannot be bothered. but now ii understand that you listened to every word ii spoke. it's just that you didn't react. you didn't find a need to give big reactions. you are just that special.
other times, ii complained that you were never ther for me. but thinking back, you were. you helped me with ma projects and stuff. da PRSP project is another big memory. ii mean like small little stuff you did ii did not take into consideration. and that is one big regret.
you just seemed so honest, so innocent, so pure, so you. you were never da one that treats me da best but still ii loved you for who you are. you were just so simple. you were never sweet. you didn't know sweet talk yet you tired. honestly, you did badly for sweet talking, but sleeping fairy was sweet. you don't praise. you were vulgar yet ii knew you were pure. recent events have set me thinking. now ii know. it's not you that ii love, it's your honesty, your innocence, your purity and da sense of security you give me.
suppose you just want to be alone for da time being. judging from your nick, ii can see that you are so into warcraft now. even though you no longer tell me about your games, ii still want you to jia you. still wish for da best in you. even though you no longer tell me about your problems, ii will still be there if you need me. and even though you don't seem to care, at least ii know you cared and at least ii know ii care for you.
if only time could just stop da moment we were da happiest, ii would treasure you double.
if only ii was strong, ii could probably let you go.
if only ii didn't love you, ii would never have felt love.
if only...
if only...
if only...
if only ma christmas wish could come true, ii'll be da happiiest girl alive.
dumb boy, ii believe.. do you?
STARES 1:49 PM*